Losing Attraction

Question: I am generally attracted to my fiancee except when she takes her clothes off. I didn't realize it until after we were engaged but she is very heavy in her upper body and I was shocked to see how she looked. I am finding myself comparing her to other women now which I do not like to do. I don't want to be so shallow as to end this relationship because of this but do not know what to do. Physical attraction does seem to be a big part of what makes me happy with someone. Please help...

Answer: There are two sides to this problem, one the usual, it IS shallow to feel that way about someone. If the roles were reversed, how would you feel if she started thinking that way about you? You might say it wouldn't happen but how do you truly know? One of the biggest issues about being in a relationship is knowing that your partner loves you for you, overweight, bald, thin... whatever. On the other side, to many people, physical is a huge consideration. If this is your only problem with her then why don't you be more assertive and do things to help fix it, without bringing it to her attention that you have a problem with it. For example, play tennis, go hiking, swimming... anything. Just grab her and start doing it.