Better Phone Sex

Question: My boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship. He lives in Texas and I live in California, which is an obvious problem with our sex life. To make up for our lack of time together, we have phone sex or text sex. However, it seems that when we have phone sex, he does all the work. I want to be more seductive with my voice and I want to participate more, but I just can't seem to tell him, in detail, everything I desire. I need some ideas that can help me turn him on and break me out of my shyness.

Answer: The beauty about phone or text sex is it allows you to explore your desires and fantasies in a controlled environment. It's like trying before you buy. You can delve deeper into your partner's sexual nuances and gain an overall better picture of their tastes before actually taking that next step. Even for sexually active couples, giving text or e-mail sexual trysts a try would hold the same benefits. As for the shyness factor, there are a lot of different approaches you can take. Give the following ideas a try and I'm sure you'll find yourself becoming the sexual goddess you know you are.

Dump any preconceived stereotypes you have about phone sex. You don't need to sound like a phone-sex operator to please your partner. Just like regular sex, this activity is about creating intimacy between two people.

Don't box yourself into having to talk in a certain way. You don't have to tell him what you want to do to him to turn him on. You can read him a sensual story, tell him what things you'd like to try in the future in explicit detail, or talk about what things you like in a little more detail than usual. If it makes you uncomfortable talking about what you are doing to him, change the tense and talk about what you'd like to do to him. Be creative and think outside the box. You're bound to find an approach that works for you. When you get more comfortable with these ideas, you'll find your shyness should be under control.

Talk to your partner in non-sexually-charged situations about what he likes for you to do. You'll feel more comfortable knowing you're making improvements in the right direction, and you'll help establish the closeness and intimacy you need to overcome your shyness.