Getting Your Partner To Be Creative

Question: I have been dating this wonderful woman for the last 3 years. But over the years I feel that I have been the only one with the role of sexual creativity. In other words, I am coming up with new ideas and toys and games and places...some of these work out great and some just give us laughs. Sometimes they turn out to be too expensive for the thrills that we get. But I'd like my partner to be proactive in creative sex. How do I tell her this without hurting her feelings? I have asked about her fantasies and she usually has a one-sentence idea that goes nowhere.

Answer: There are many different personality types in the world. It could be your partner is not one of the very creative ones. It is probably a main reason why she is attracted to you. And, let's face it, if you already have so many great ideas yourself, it can feel difficult to come up with equally great ones. You could help her along by purchasing a creative sex idea book, and approaching her with the idea of taking ideas from the book and doing them for each other. One week one person does all the planning, and the next week the other does the planning. Once you get into a habit of this it will help her find her creative self, and give you the acknowledgement that she is putting effort into the relationship as well.