Oral Deprivation

Question: We are in our mid 40's. My wife and I have had a great 24 years of marriage and have always enjoyed making love regularly. She loves receiving oral sex, but has always steadfastly refused to give me oral. How can I encourage her to do this? Our relationship, I might add, is not going to grind to a halt over the issue! Thanks! -Eros

Answer: When anyone has a back off towards something, the first thing to do is to investigate why they feel that way. After 24 years of marriage, you probably have a pretty good idea what is that turns your wife off to the deed. For many women, the turn off is the taste, the smell or both. If this is the case for your wife, it can easily be overcome by engaging in oral sex just after a shower, in the actual shower, a bath or pool. She could also try and cover any taste or smell by pouring a little champagne, wine, juice or other desired beverage, and then licking it off. With a little creativity your options are endless.

When taste is not the turn off, you're probably running into one of two things: she is actually repulsed by the idea of giving oral sex, or she just doesn't know how or what to do. If she is indeed repulsed, I would suggest talking about how great it would feel, and how much you would enjoy for her to do it. Then if she is willing, maybe start with baby steps such as doing it over clothes or a thin material until she feels she could actually make skin-to-skin contact.

If you feel she might be embarrassed or unsure about how to go about it, try suggesting one of these great ideas from a recent article, The Oral Factor. Inside the article you'll find four oral encounters she might like to try. With any luck you might just be surprised! :)