you are here: The Three Golden Rules of Praise
by Jennifer Good
Admiration is a trait we should all feel towards our partners. However, there are certain occasions or times in our lives where our partners deserve a little "hoopla" for their efforts. In these times, your response could be a relationship-defining moment. Imagine how you would feel if a hard-earned promotion went by without a word of acknowledgment from your partner. Then imagine your reaction if they really went all out to show you how proud they were. It's quite amazing the difference in perspectives when you really sit down and think about it.
Obviously, not every situation will be cause for a giant celebration. Nevertheless, even a small verbal acknowledgment for taking out the trash or picking you up can go a long way. To make sure you're really letting your partner know how much you appreciate everything they do, follow these three simple golden rules to praise.
1. Be Sincere
Everyone knows when you're being fake, especially your partner. If you're not feeling it at the moment, just focus on what aspect you can be proud of. On the flip side, don't make up things just to make your partner feel better either. In these situations, you end up devaluing the worthiness of your praise. Make sure that when you say something great about your partner, it's coming from the heart. Your partner should always be able to see the value of your praise and appreciate your thoughts of gratitude and appreciation.
2. Do It In Public
Just about everyone loves hearing how well they've done something. It's even better when they're hearing it while you're telling someone else how amazing they are. Use family and friend time to really give your partner a chance to shine and possibly gloat on the latest accomplishment they've achieved. Play it up to the level you know your partner would be comfortable with. If they are modest about their deeds, just a little acknowledgment will do the trick.
3. Make It Relative to the Occasion
Keep the act or accomplishment your partner has achieved in perspective to the praise you give. For example, you'd have quite different reactions for someone who has lost five pounds compared to fifty. Of course, every situation will have to be examined individually. For some people, cutting back minimally on a bad habit such as smoking is a huge deal. Pay attention to the little signs your partner will give and you'll know just how important a particular thing is to them.
