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Making Your Marriage Work
Rules for loving each other until death do you part...
by Jennifer Good!
Marriage is a life long journey of discovering yourself and your ability to become part of an us. Being a part of an us isn't always easy. There are going to be times when you feel like you can't take another second of being with your partner. And, there are going to be times when you feel like you couldn't imagine being a single second apart. Hopefully, with the following rules for marriage you'll find yourself loving every minute!
1. Openly love your partner.
Most marriages fail because one partner feels the other isn't affectionate enough towards them. This leads the particular person to believe that they don't love them the way they used to. The fact of the matter is that often times we've spent so much time together, we don't really realize our physical affection may have waned. It is important to make sure you keep showing affection. Don't stop holding hands. Play footsie under the table. Not only will you make love an integral part of your relationship, but if you have children you'll be teaching them how important affection is to a relationship.
2. Handle your upsets.
The longer you let a rift occur in your marriage the more each partner will begin to separate and disassociate with the other. This is even, and sometimes especially, true for unspoken problems as well. Do not let a problem go unspoken. If you're the type of person that holds things in, don't. How can you and your partner handle the problem if they don't even know about it? If you're the type of person that needs to feel right about every argument, don't. How can it be more important for only one person to be right than the couple as a whole? By handling a problem and coming up with a solution together you gain as a couple, and individually.
3. Respect your partner as they are.
When you first met you probably thought your partner was capable of doing anything, including roping the moon. As time goes on you realize that they are fallible, just like the rest of us. Realizing that your partner is human shouldn't be a cause to nag, change or treat your partner differently. They are still the same person, just as you are. The next time you're thinking of what you don't like, think about how you might have changed in your partner's eyes and work on that instead.
4. Be aware of each other's limits.
Nothing can get a person riled up faster than feeling like they are being pushed into a corner. This doesn't mean that you are the cause, but as their life mate it is your responsibility to be their support team. If you see your partner is getting too stressed about something like work, help ease it by taking them out to dinner. If you know they are facing a hard time, make an effort to ease their situation by doing things together that remind them they have someone they can trust and lean on.
5. Talk about anything and everything.
I can't emphasis enough how important talking is. If you're not talking to each other, who are you talking to? Who more than anyone should know what is going on in your life? There is only one person to whom you have pledged your life and affection. If you can't find the time or place to talk do what my love and I do, go for a long car drive and just talk until you feel better about things. Since you're in the car you don't have any outside distractions like kids, the phone ringing, the dog barking, etc. to divert from your communication.
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