My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years as of today. I live about 3 hours from him because I go to college. We have had a very different relationship. I feel like as soon as it is getting good, it turns around and gets bad. He and I alternate trips to go and see each other. For our 4 year anniversary, it was his chance to come up and see me. Our past 3 yearly marked anniversaries have not been spent together because he somehow breaks up with me before it, and then we get back together. However, things have been going well for us lately. For our 4 year anniversary I asked him to come up to where I live and spend the weekend with me. I made a big picture frame filled with a collage that had different pictures and sayings and a couple of other gifts. I individually wrapped each one, and then wrapped them in a larger box. It turned out really cute, at least I thought it did. So, I gave him the gift and I thought he would do something for me like get me a gift or make me something romantic, but all he had was a card. I just want to know what you think I should do, because I am disappointed. I feel hurt that he wouldn’t want to do something for our 4 year anniversary, especially because it was the first one we have spent together. Let me know what you think. Am I being materialistic?
--Feeling Materialistic

Dear Feeling Materialistic,
There are some lines in a relationship where the damage can never be completely undone once crossed. This type of dishonesty is definitely one of those lines. You asked yourself in your email if you could ever trust him the same again. In the back of your mind won’t you always wonder if he’s still being untrue? Is that the kind of relationship you see yourself having? Do you really want to be the one that’s always questioning his whereabouts, who his friends are and being secretly suspicious of his every move? It’s not a healthy situation to be in and no amount of love is ever going to drive those doubts away. This time you need to learn a new kind of love… self-love! Love yourself enough to be able to walk away from this destructive relationship and find someone who is truly worth your affection and devotion.

With Love,

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