How do you communicate with your spouse if he has a short temper and is also impatient and stressed all the time? It kills me because sometimes I feel as if he doesn't understand me or he just doesn't want to hear the drama. It always leads into an argument and I can't stand it. We definitely love each other, but it's difficult for me because I think our communication is being put aside, especially when he's having a bad day already.
--Short-Tempered Spouse

Short-Tempered Spouse,
Anger can be a nasty emotion especially when it can't be directed at its true source. What you both need to do is establish an alternative method of communicating when he's upset. If he feels his temper rising, maybe he should go out for a walk or a drive to help clear his head and get a fresh perspective. If there is something you seriously need to discuss, you may need to do it through the written word instead of orally. Any long-term solution to this problem is going to need both of your support. My best advice is to really work together to find a way to diffuse his impatience and short-temper.

The other aspect of this is to find the source of his anger and impatience. People who share these traits are usually this way because of some area of their life they are unhappy with. Is there a way you can both find a solution that will alleviate this strain?

If you are going to find a happy ending here, you need to find a way to make your spouse understand how his behavior is invalidating you. You'll also need to spend some time considering if there are negative communication patterns you are using to create his reactions. If you can't do this on your own, it may be necessary to go to a counselor to learn how to communicate effectively and positively to each other.

With Love,

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