My love and I have been through a lot. He previously got engaged and I stayed by his side to help him with the fiancée from hell. When he left her I was there in a flash to be his best bud. I've loved him from the moment I set eyes on him, but my world has come crashing down. I found out that in the short span of time while we had broken up he had slept with three of my friends whom I considered sisters. I tried to handle it with grace for six months now but I'm not superwoman. It hurts to know this and even though everything has been great since we got back together it all feels like a lie when I think about who he’s shared his bed with. The few friends I've spoken too about it give contradictory answers. The only person who really seems to know was my mom. She asked if anything has happened since. If not then I should learn the art of forgiveness and try to be happy and if I can't do that someone else is out there to think I'm great. Please help me! What are the baby steps I need to take to unbreak my heart?
--Better Left Unsaid

Dear Better Left Unsaid,
Keeping your thoughts to yourself is never the best option when it comes to situations like these. If you’re unable to communicate when something has troubled you, you’re not giving the relationship any real chance to succeed.

Right now you’re creating a scenario where your relationship is based on false premises. He believes everything is fine with what he’s done and you’re silently stewing away. Eventually your anger and hurt is going to spill over into other aspects of the relationship, if they haven’t already. The sad part about this is that he’ll have no idea where all this emotion is coming from and will undeniably think you’ve gone mad.

No one needs to be a superwoman by keeping their emotions in check and not rocking the boat. You’ll know you’ve found the “real” thing when you can comfortably confront your partner on anything and know you’ll be able to work things out together. If you don’t ever talk to him about what’s going on in your head, you’ll never find out what real potential this relationship has. If you really want to get closure over this you’re going to have to tell him what’s on your mind. His reaction to this will give you an obvious sign as to what steps to take next.

With Love,

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