My girlfriend and I have been together off and on for five years. We recently got back together, but she has given me an ultimatum. I have until September 23rd to get myself together the way she wants. I must have a car, an apartment, and I have to be in school by that time or else she’s going to leave me for good. In a way, I see where she's coming from. I'm not trying to make excuses, but there are a lot of things in my life that may prevent me from reaching this goal. I feel like she’s put me in a situation where anyway I look at it, I can't win. I was just wondering what I should do about this?
--Unrealistic Expectations?

Dear Unrealistic Expectations?,
Without knowing what has gone on in this relationship up to this point, I can't know what has prompted this set of requirements. I can only guess that your previous break ups probably stemmed from you showing a lack of responsibility. Again, this is only a guess based on these “requirements” you must meet. At some point, you’re going to have to ask yourself if these things you need to do are what YOU actually want to do. If they aren’t, then doing them just to stay in the relationship is a temporary fix. It won’t solve whatever underlying differences you have. The other side of this issue is control. Is this how you want your relationship to be? Your girlfriend needs to accept you for who you are, not try to change you into what she wants you to be. If this relationship is going to work, you need to accept each others' flaws and work to improve on them together. It may benefit you to consider whether your current girlfriend is actually a true match for your personality. You don't want to spend the rest of your life feeling like you need to change yourself to line up with someone else's picture of you.

With Love,

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