I've been seeing a guy for a month now who is head over heals for me and treats me like gold. He has a stable job, is a really decent guy and I know I love who he is. However, I find myself not attracted to him physically (he's not as handsome as I think I would like) and sexually his idea of a romantic night is a lot different than mine. We're really open with each other and are working on things, but I'm worried if his looks will still bother me in the future? Is it wrong to have those feelings? -Looks May Be Everything

Dear Looks May Be Everything,
This is a difficult concept for many to accept, especially when you are taught to love everyone equally regardless of their looks, weight, or whatever. The fact of the matter is you can't really control who you are attracted to. You could be attracted to their mind or personality and for a lot of people that is enough. But, if you fall into the group where it's not, then you are going to have serious problems over the years as the relationship progresses.

Attraction is a serious element in a relationship. You need to have mental AND physical stimulation. It doesn't matter WHY you don't have it, or that somehow because he's a nice guy you should automatically have it. It doesn't always work out that way. Something is missing, and you shouldn't ignore your gut feelings about it. It isn't wrong to feel this way. What would be wrong is to move forward knowing that something is seriously lacking.

A relationship should make you feel complete in EVERY way. It's like a jig-saw puzzle, there are pieces that you could make fit in a certain spot, but there's only one that TRULY fits. If this guy doesn't fit, you need to go back and find someone that does.

With Love,

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