My situation is probably one like many. I met a guy after a 13-year marriage, and thought I had finally found love again. We dated for 8 months and then he had to go back home to finish his term in the Navy. When he was done he would either come back for me or I would go there. When he left, he called me and told me he was married and separated, and was finalizing a divorce. I accepted that, but later got a phone call from his wife, who had a very different story. Since then his wife and I talk a lot over the phone. According to her, they have been separated over a year now, and the divorce is still not final because of him being sent overseas and such. The problem I am now having, is the day he left and called to tell me he was married, he went to her, stayed with her, and slept with her. He told her of me that night only because his wife found my stuff in his truck after he fell asleep and then called me to find out who I was. After all of this, I am having a hard time forgiving him even though I love him. And over the last year, I feel like I can't trust him. Did he love me or am I just the only one of the two who stayed around for him? -Doubting His Affection

Dear Doubting His Affection,
First of all, I think you need to look at your situation clearly. What is your ideal definition of a loving relationship? For most, it means having an open and honest line of communication, an ability to undoubtedly trust each other, equal levels of affection and sharing the same goals and dreams in life. If you take an honest look at your situation you'll find it clearly lacks in comparison to this ideal. Just because you've found someone who shows interest in you doesn't mean they are actually good for you. If you doubt him, it is understandable. The lies he told you are pretty significant. Do you really want to see yourself in this type of relationship for the rest of your life? Do you want to raise children with a parent you don't trust? Be honest with yourself and you'll find the right answer to your problem.

With Love,

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