I'm a 23 year old beautiful and intelligent woman. I usually go out with guys whom are not working or going through some difficulties in their lives. I convince myself that the situation will change. Typically, these guys truly love me, but my friends think that I settle for less. They always say I can do better and try everything to break up my relationships. I just believe that love is love and you should love a person whether they're fat or jobless, as long as they love you. Now I've started developing those doubts that maybe, just maybe, I can do better. I have been in and out of relationships. -Settling For Less

Dear Settling For Less,
Let's look at it this way… Everyone has hopes and dreams about their future. If your dreams are big, you need someone who can match those dreams. You need to make sure your love match actually matches you. Do you have similar ambitions levels? Do you have similar standards of living? Would you let yourself go to the condition that some of your love interests have? If not, then that is a good indicator of whether or not you are settling.

It's easy to stay in a relationship, or become interested in having one, with someone who genuinely feels affection for you. But, to STAY in a relationship, you need more than affection and love. You need someone who can match your desires, your needs and actually compliment your life. You need someone who has similar life interests. Of course, you can make a match with someone without these factors, but the odds of it become a very challenging relationship are high. Why settle for that type of relationship when you can have something better?

Remember, it's not saying someone is less worthy. It's saying their life choices just don't reflect yours. Long-term you'd be miserable, no matter how much love there is.

With Love,

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