The problem I'm having is with my ex-girlfriend. I have been listening to her problems about getting out of her marriage for over four years. I have been to see her a few times (6 in the past year). The last two times her husband (they're separated) came over. She gets upset, and then starts to become upset at me, because I don't have what she is looking for. I can only give so much. I'm a student and have a life as well. I finally walked away. Her e-mails after that just listed my faults and contained nothing positive. I can't move mountains, but I tried the best I could. She went right to someone else after that. I'm getting tired of blaming myself. I know I have my faults, but I think the relationship was a little selfish on her part. Comparing how "difficult" her situation was to my going to school and working full time didn't even come close. Maybe it's because I'm an older student? I don't know. Do you have anything that can put my mind at ease? -Is It Me?

Dear Is It Me?,
We experience situations for a reason. Not every situation is going to be idyllic. If one forgets to take meaning from our less than idyllic moments then one is missing out on valuable life lessons. You need to take the energy you're currently spending and focus it on why you chose this life lesson, instead of why it chose you. The only way you are going to be at peace is to come to terms with yourself and what you may have done to allow this situation to persist. I'm sure at some point you realized this was not a beneficial relationship for you. Why did you stay with her for so long? How did you feel you could change to make her desire you more? How has this experience helped you for future relationships? Remember, you can't change who you are. If someone you are interested in does not value the real you, simply put, you don't belong with them.

With Love,

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