My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years now. However, he has gone to a strip club twice. The first time was with a bachelor party and the second was a weekend when we "broke up." I have told him that I don't want him to go to such places and how it hurts me. He swears he will never go again. I want to trust him but I don't know if I can get over the fact that he has already been. What do you think? -Needing Some Respect

Dear Needing Some Respect,
I think that in certain situations you have to look at the entire picture. This is certainly one of those types of situations. I receive e-mail after e-mail of couples cheating, lying, and other such unmentionables that it hardly seems fair to fault a person for doing what your boyfriend has done. This is not to say your feelings are invalid in the matter. If something concerns you then it should be important to you. Just make sure you are aware that things could be worse… a lot worse. It doesn't seem like he's hiding the fact he went from you. The two times he did go were special circumstances, and both quite excusable. If it were me, I'd learn to forgive and forget. You can't engage in a successful relationship with nagging doubts of trust in the back of your mind.

With Love,

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