I have been searching for love now for a very long time. I have looked for it, I have let it find me, but I can't seem to find the right person. When I am in a relationship, it never seems to work out. I think it has a lot to do with me choosing the wrong men, and also me having so many insecurities and issues to deal with. How will I ever find love and keep love? I have been single now for a little over a year. My last relationship was with my daughter's father. Also, being that I have a 2 year old, I don't want her to see men coming and going. I want a stable, secure, long lasting relationship. But it never works out that way for me. What can I do to find sincere love and keep it? -Loveless

Dear Loveless,
You can't go to the store and buy a pack of love. You can't even be with someone and guarantee it's going to be love. In fact, there is no way to know when love is going to strike. Even when it does, it may not be reciprocated. So what's a person to do? Be patient and try to gain a better perspective on finding love.

If you look at each person you've dated as another step towards finding your perfect match, then the fear of losing love isn't as significant. You're on a path that ultimately does have an ending. You just need to find the right way to go.

Take a look at each person you've dated or been in a relationship with. Start with your first love and go on to your last relationship. What qualities did you like about them, and what qualities didn't you like? When you're done you should have a good idea of what kind of person you're looking for right now. This doesn't mean they'll be your perfect match, but they will definitely be the right person for you at that moment. If things don't work out, look again at what you liked and what you didn't like and set your sights on your new ideal.

Treat the dating cycle as a learning process. You can't possibly know if you like something unless you've tried it out. Eventually, you're going to find the one that's perfect for you, and when you do, you won't have any doubts.

With Love,

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