I am in a relationship right now, but I'm in love with another man and have been since I was a kid. I guess I settled with my other half. Now the man I'm in love with has a girlfriend that is pretty serious, and I guess they are engaged, but no rings have been put on. His friends tell me that he is really not happy, but he tells me he is. His friend tells me I should tell him how I feel about him, but I am afraid of rejection. I've been hurt too many times in the past to be hurt again. The guy I'm in love with comes in my life, and then we don't see each other for a while. When I finally have him out of my system, he pops right back in and I would love more than anything to be with him. I just don't know how to tell him the way I feel or what to even say. I'm a babbling idiot when I'm around him. Please help me. -Mixed Up In New York

Dear Mixed Up In New York,
In your situation I think his friend might be right. You have two options. One, tell him and get it off your chest for good. Or, two, find a way to truly deal with the fact it's not going to happen. Whatever you choose you really need to find a way to gain some closure because in the end you're just going to end up getting hurt. You can't move on with life if you're living in the past. It isn't fair to your current relationship, or to you. If you feel like you've settled by being with the person you are with, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're meant to be with this other person. It could just mean that you need to find someone else entirely. Think about what you truly want, and what would make you happy before you do anything. Don't allow yourself to settle, but don't get caught up in games you won't win either.

With Love,

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