I've been with this guy for almost a year now. We've had our problems, like any couple, but always seemed to work them out in the end. Lately things are different. I love him so, so much, and I tell him sometimes about wanting a future with him, especially moving in together. I know he wants the same, I know he truly cares for me. But lately he's been telling me that he feels things are different, although I feel nothing has changed for us, I feel more in love with him everyday. He says he thinks I'm keeping something from him (I used to do that in the past, but now I tell him EVERYTHING about me). I have nothing to hide, and just really want to be with him, but it has been really hard lately. A lot of personal problems have been happening with him. His car insurance recently went way up and he can't afford it. He's having trouble dismissing a D.U.I. case that was supposed to be gone, and just a lot of relationship problems with us too. He says he can't trust me, although I've devoted all I can in showing him that he's all I want and need. I'm so in love with him, and would do anything to show him that. I care for him so much and worry constantly at the thought of losing him that sometimes its almost too much to handle. I write him love poems all the time, expressing my innermost feeling toward him, and he always tells me he loves them, but still it doesn't seem like that's enough. He says I don't realize he has problems, and that I always try and dismiss what's wrong or act as if nothing is. It's not that at all, which I've tried to explain, I just always look on the positive side of things, and always hope and believe good things will come. I don't ever want to lose him, he means the world to me, and without him I'd be broken. I need a way to show him all the things he can't see. Can you please, please help me?? -So Devoted

Dear So Devoted,
The problem here is the fact that he isn't feeling acknowledged. He is having a very stressful time period, and is trying to communicate to you that he needs more than just an "everything will be all right" speech. He needs to feel like you really understand what is going on. A relationship is about each couple being each other's cheer section or support team. What it seems like he is communicating is that he doesn't feel like you're taking on that role. At this point, I think what may be needed is more action and less talk. Instead of trying to figure out what is wrong all the time, plan a few romantic encounters. Take him on a picnic, give him a massage. Do things that let him know that he is number one, without you having to tell him.

With Love,

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