I have been involved with a wonderful woman for over four years. The other night she woke me up and told me that I had to go. She told me that she loved me, but was no longer in love with me. I packed my things and moved to a friend's home that happens to be 500 miles away. I spoke to her on the phone recently and she told me that she told her mother that she stills loves me, and is still in love with the person I used to be, I am not exactly sure what that means. She had decided that she needs 6 months to 1 year to get her life together. I have never cheated on her or abused her; to be honest I don't know what happened, I do know that I love her very much. My fear is that, because we now live so far apart, I will never get the chance to show her how much I really do love her. I know that she has not met anyone else, so my question is do I hang on and keep trying, or do I just give up? -Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed and Confused,
For someone to fully love another person they must first love themselves. It looks like this is the case in your situation. Most times a person's problems are found in their accusations of other people. She told you she doesn't like the person you've become, but chances are it's the person she's allowed herself to become that she is unhappy with. Let her take the time to find herself, and discover for herself what she truly wants. Patience isn't always easy and isn't always rewarded. If you feel like she is worth the wait, then by all means wait for her. Just don't fall into the trap of being there for her because she doesn't have the strength to fully break things off. It is easy to lead someone along when they know they are interested in you. It makes a person feel better knowing there is someone out there who loves them, even if they don't return the feelings. Basically, don't put your life on hold for someone else. You need to live life and do what you need to do. If at some point she wants to get back together AND you are willing to do the same, make sure you have this problem ironed out completely.

With Love,

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