I have lived with a man for almost 6 years, caring for him and his daughter. I thought things were going okay. I was happy. Sure, there were problems, but nothing I didn't think we could get resolved. That was until he informed me he had been having an affair with an older woman. He also went on to tell me how it had nothing to do with love because it was me he loved. I would always be the woman he would love, but that it was time to make decisions for his future (she is rather wealthy) and the future of his daughter.

So, I of course cried and begged him not to make that choice. We could work out whatever was needed for the future we had already started. He agreed to try, and so we played house Monday through Friday. Then, every weekend he would disappear. I finally could take no more. I had his things packed and asked him to go stay with her until I could get the money to move out. He agreed, and in a short while I moved out on my own.

Unfortunately, he found me and proceeded to constantly tell me how much he missed me. He would come over to try and have sex with me. I am proud to say I NEVER gave in. However the separation from him was killing me inside, and I was so afraid to date or go out for fear he would get wind of it. Then the love I had professed to him would become meaningless to him.

This went on for about six months when I had decided I could take no more of the constant "I love yous" and "It's only a matter of time" comments. My friends were teasing me because I would sit in my apartment and wait for him to call or come by. He never did. So, I moved in with another guy, we're "roommates," but there is more to it and I am not ashamed to say I believe he is a very special person. But my ex believes I am to be together with him when he gets things all sorted out in his life. He still calls to say he loves me and asked me to promise not to fall in love with anyone, yet he's sleeping with three other women that I know of. How do I explain to him that the love I have for him will never die? Yet, it isn’t the same as wanting to wait for him until nothing else better shows up... -Waiting For Him

Dear Waiting For Him,
I don't like to be intentionally rude, or come off as abrasive, but WAKE UP girl! Why would you knowingly put yourself in a position of being some person's puppet? You have to know this relationship, at least what is left of it, is completely one-sided and harmful to your psyche, spiritually and mentally. Why would you expect more from yourself than from him? He's not making any sacrifices! He's not living in guilt or agony! So, why should you? I understand six years is a long time to be with someone, and feelings don't go away immediately, if ever completely. That is the point of love though; it doesn't go away. It just changes into something different. Do yourself a HUGE favor and move on from this guy! He doesn't appreciate what you have to offer and he doesn't deserve your time. Don't limit your future happiness by settling for what is comfortable. Branch out and find a life of your own.

With Love,

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