Online Relationships: Are You Sacrificing Too Much?
by Jennifer M. Good

If you're in an online relationship, you may have found yourself pondering over similar questions to this article's title. When determining your answer, your first thought may have been; "If it is love, no. After all, true love is worth anything, right?" Not always.

The problem lies when you end up sacrificing your integrity for your relationship. In any matters of the heart, whether it's online or in person, if you find yourself doing actions you can't really do, it's harmful -- to yourself and your partner.

So why is this so important for online relationships? In an online relationship, the only way you can communicate with your partner is through time spent on the computer, on the phone or writing letters. Then figure the average person in an online relationship has various time zones to work with, school or work schedules, and their personal or family lives to handle. This can end up in one, or both, partners making a lot of sacrifices to spend time with each other.

How are these sacrifices harmful? They are harmful when one person feels they are making ALL the sacrifices, or when someone is letting other areas of their life slip because of the Internet relationship.

If you feel these things are happening to you, your partner or a friend in an online relationship, try the following tips and ideas!

• If you call on the phone, alternate who calls who each time.
  
  
• If you find yourself limited by time zones, make sure each person is making equal sacrifices so you can talk. Or try and find a time that is good for you both.
  
  
• Don't outdo your partner with gifts, e-mails, etcetera. It's great to show your affection, but leaving them feeling unequal in the exchange isn't the way to do it.
  
  
• Set specific times for you to talk to your partner. If it's part of your schedule, you are less likely to let slip in other areas of your life.
  
  
• Don't do something you are not comfortable with. It's easy to let things slide when your partner is far away and time with them is scarce. But, if you need to do something else at a certain time -- don't let yourself give in.
  
  
• Talk about an equal give and take relationship in the beginning. If you both know what each other's ground rules are, you'll be able to respect each other's privacy and individuality.

Assignment: Go out and do one thing each week that is just for you! It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it is something you do alone. Set a specific time and day each week for you to complete this.