Taking The Big Step: Turning Online Love Into Real Life
by Bob Narindra

Are you in the process of moving in with your online love? The transition from Internet-lovers to real-life lovers can be very stressful. When I met my wife online a few years ago there were absolutely no doubts in my mind that we would be together for the rest of our lives. I knew that I was going to marry her and could not wait to be with her. Even though we had a great online relationship, there was a world of difference between online dating and living together. As I have been through it, and come out the other end relatively unscathed, I thought I would share some of my insights with you.

The process of moving in with my love was quite involved. For me, it meant a re-location from London to San Diego. Apart from the obvious culture shock of moving from one country to another, I also had to give up my work, my family, friends and all possessions that I could not carry with me.

If that wasn't stressful enough, I was moving in on a life which I had never really been apart of. Online lovers don't usually have much opportunity to be with each other in normal real-life situations. I think many couples fail to realize that you are not just moving into another person's home, you are moving into their life. Yes, you have shared intimate details with each other over the web, phone and in real life before, but this is different. You are setting up a new life, with new friends, new family and, in a lot of cases, a completely different culture.

What happened in my case was that we were both taken aback by how little we actually knew each other when we moved in together. It was not that there were many surprises, but you have to realize that when you are in the courting stage, you feel that euphoria of a new love and you tend to not see things that could present a problem in the future. In our case, we moved extremely quickly. We started our cyber love in March, I went to see her for the first time in June, moved in with her in September and we were married in November. Now, there were many factors that were involved that contributed to us moving so quickly that are beyond the scope of this article but it worked out great and we have a great marriage. Going back, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Although my experience turned out for the best, there are ways to ease into your new lifestyle with the least amount of stress. Below are a few of my suggestions.

1. Know as much about the place you are moving to as possible. What are the people like? What is the culture like? Is there anything special you need to know? The web is an excellent tool for this.
   
   
2. Be aware that this is a big change for both of you and living together make take a little getting used to after the initial euphoria has worn off. Be prepared that it is probably not going to be as easy as you imagined and your relationship is something you will have to work at, just like anybody else.
   
   
3. If you are the person moving to be with the other, set up your own interests and activities in the new city. If you like sports, go find a local sports team and sign up for it or join a local club that you have an interest in. It is very important that you go out and meet new friends of your own and build a life for yourself there.
   
   
4. Give each other enough space. If you are the one moving in with your partner, realize that they are giving up their home to you and allow them time to adjust to the situation. On the other hand, if you are the one giving up your home to your partner, realize how much they have given up to be with you and try to make their transition as easy as possible.
   
   
5. Acknowledge the fact that you are now living together and are committed to building a life together. Within the first few days, go out an celebrate or throw a "getting together party." Whatever you do, make it a big affair. It does not have to be a huge party but it does have to be something that has huge sentimental importance to you both.
   
   
6. Lastly, be extra romantic. Surprise each other with breakfast in bed. Leave notes for each other. Go out of your way to make the other person feel special and know how happy you are to have them in your life.
   
   
   Warning: main(http://scripts.lovingyou.com/comments/scomments.php?ID=bigstep&url=www.lovingyou.com/content/groups/online/content.php?ART=bigstep) [function.main]: failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 404 Not Found in /export/home/www1-backup/home/www3user/sites/lovingyou.com/www/content/groups/online/content.php on line 134
   
   Warning: main() [function.include]: Failed opening 'http://scripts.lovingyou.com/comments/scomments.php?ID=bigstep&url=www.lovingyou.com/content/groups/online/content.php?ART=bigstep' for inclusion (include_path='/usr/local/lib/php:./DB-1.7.14RC1') in /export/home/www1-backup/home/www3user/sites/lovingyou.com/www/content/groups/online/content.php on line 134
   
   
   Warning: main(http://scripts.lovingyou.com/artvote/svote.php?ID=bigstep) [function.main]: failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 404 Not Found in /export/home/www1-backup/home/www3user/sites/lovingyou.com/www/content/groups/online/content.php on line 136
   
   Warning: main() [function.include]: Failed opening 'http://scripts.lovingyou.com/artvote/svote.php?ID=bigstep' for inclusion (include_path='/usr/local/lib/php:./DB-1.7.14RC1') in /export/home/www1-backup/home/www3user/sites/lovingyou.com/www/content/groups/online/content.php on line 136