Military Relationships:
Keeping It Together
by Brettani Webb

There are many things to consider when you're in a military relationship. One of the biggest things is how to stay feeling like a couple when your loved one is gone for months at a time. You get married to be in a two-sided relationship, but sometimes it can prove to be more challenging than originally thought. Fortunately, many military couples have found a way to keep things together. It requires effort from both sides and a little more understanding than the average couple needs. Maintain the sizzle in your relationship by giving these helpful tips a try.

Required Ingredients For A Successful Marriage

• Agape (the Greek word used in the Bible meaning unselfish love for one another as human beings)
• Wholehearted trust
• Understanding
• Dedication
• Commitment
• Communication
• Creativity

Tools For Long Distance Relationships

• Telephone
• Computer and Internet Access
• Variety of Writing Utensils
• Paper, Stamps and Envelopes
• Camera
• Cologne/Perfume
• Creativity
• Video Camera
• Web Cam

Tips and Ideas For Keeping It Together

• Make time every day for each other whether it's writing to or about the other person, chatting online with them or simply thinking about them. Keeping the lines of communication open in a long distance relationship is very important because that's all you have to interact with each other. Just letting your partner assume that you love and think of them often isn't enough.
  
  
• During your Internet rendezvous time, play a game online together. It can be very comforting to laugh and play together once in while when you are apart.
  
  
• Send packages to each other. They may include memorabilia from the location your partner is at, something that reminded you of the other person, an article of clothing or a pillow with your cologne/perfume on it or handmade gifts. Homemade gifts aren't just for the ladies or for the one at home to make. A handmade gift from a deployed military man is one of the sweetest gestures I can imagine.
  
  
• Call each other unexpectedly. Being surprised is something to look forward to in any relationship, but especially a long distance one.
  
  
• Treat your partner with the respect you want for yourself. Just because you are physically apart doesn't mean that there are reasons not to trust each other. It is sometimes difficult to not feel afraid or wonder, but it is worth it to keep it to yourself, unless you know without a doubt. It is only natural to wonder, but it is hurtful and can be seriously damaging to the relationship to be accused if you're innocent.
  
  
• When your partner comes home, don't worry about the daily routine of doing the dishes, laundry or whatever else that could be set-aside for a minute. Focus on doing something together. Sex is important, I'm sure, but in addition, many couples have found it productive to plan fun activities together.
  
  
• Discuss expectations and concerns while you're together, but remember that it is called "leave" because it is a break from the harsh daily military life. You're partner doesn't need to come home and get patronized. If there are specific issues to talk about, write your thoughts down so that your point is clear before they get home, and then give it a while before approaching them. It is as equally important to discuss happy and exciting expectations with each other, as it is to deal with the negative ones.
  
  
• For the one at home, read Keeping Your Sanity While He's Gone, a helpful guide to keeping it together when your partner is away.