Love Task #22
"Me Time"
Once a relationship becomes more serious, the focus tends to subtly shift from me to "we." Instead of planning what you're going to do, you might notice you're planning what "we're" going to do. While nothing is wrong with this, it can overshadow the need to spend some quality alone time as well. This doesn't mean alone time with your partner either.
Spending time independently of each other is a healthy part of any relationship. You need time to process your thoughts and dreams, handle stress and just unwind and be yourself. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be with the other person. Everyone needs a little personal space, and it's a huge sign of respect towards your partner when you encourage and support their time alone.
If neither of you have taken the time to be by yourself in a while, it's certainly time to make a change.
Assignments:
- Set aside at least one hour each week for each of you to spend time completely alone where you won't need to worry about any responsibilities. Your time could be spent doing something as simple as reading a book, taking a bath or working in the garden. The point is for the other partner to take care of anything that needs attention during the other's personal time.
- If time allows, try to surprise your partner with a least a half hour of free time. Even better, you can set them up with a "free time" surprise. For him, tell him you're taking the kids out to a movie and he's to enjoying playing computer games all night. For her, plan a take-out dinner, then take the kids out for ice cream and a treat, while she gets to enjoy an uninterrupted bubble bath by candlelight.
- Sometimes a partner can spend too much personal time on a project. Instead of making them feel guilty about it, arrange for a time swap. Agree to a set amount of time they'll work on the project each week. In exchange, they have to offer you that same amount of time to do either something on your own, or together. Get creative and you can both get what you want.
- Every couple of months let your partner have an all day personal day. Arrange for them to do the activity they love most, without guilt and interruption for an entire day. While you may be giving up a day spent with your partner, the appreciation for respecting their personal space will more than make for the time apart.
