Love Task #20
"Your Love Personality"
It will always remain true that each and every person, while having certain similarities, will always remain unique and individual. When it comes to love, half of the experience is trying to meld both of your unique traits and individuality into one understanding. Which, as you can imagine, or have possibly experienced, can be quite challenging. This week's task is aimed at helping you both achieve this understanding.
When you start a new relationship you tend to celebrate each partner's uniqueness. As the relationship progress, it is often forgotten that there was uniqueness in the first place. This can lead to real communication problems. You might assume that your partner is relating to you, when in actuality they just don't get where you're coming from. It's important that you are both communicating in a way that you will actually relate and understand each other.
How do you go about doing this? Well, first you need to find out what their love style is. It can be determined by many factors from their early family exposure to past relationships. So the first step would be for both partners to get a really good grasp on each other's past relationship influences and the affects they've had. During the week have a nice heart-to-heart about love and life and the things you've both experienced. If this is something you have both already completed, just move on to the next step.
Once you really know each other's love background, it's time to see what really makes each other tick. Do you like it when your partner tells you I love you? Does your partner prefer to be shown I love you? Do random acts of kindness really make your heart beat? Or would you rather have some time alone to think things through?
Discovering the answer to these questions gives you basis of how to interact with each other. If you know your partner needs to "hear" loving words from you to feel content in a relationship, it will be much easier for you to help make them happy. If your partner knows you need personal space to feel content in your relationship, then they can easily oblige, knowing the results will make you both happier.
Assignment:
- Think about what romance and love mean to you and how you enjoy receiving it.
- Make a list of all things any romantic partner has done in the past that made you feel loved.
- Now, make a list of all the things any person in your life has done that made you feel loved.
- Read over the list and you should discover a pattern of your love style. Did you enjoy hearing loving words, receiving loving gifts, spending time together or actions that showed they really understood you? Sometimes there may be two patterns that emerge. Pick the one that resonates with you the most as your main love style.
- Have your partner go through the same steps you did.
- When you have both determined your love style, exchange lists and talk about the things that make you feel loved.
