you are here: by Jessica Padykula
Ending a relationship is never easy, even when you’ve truly had enough and you’re ready for freedom. But there are ways to make the deed go as smoothly as possible. If you only remember one thing, let it be this. Break up with others as you would like to be broken up with. Other than that, here are 6 of our best break-up methods.
1. Be honest
Whether he ends up believing you or not, being honest with whomever you’re breaking up with is the best way to go. Tell him why you need to move on and answer any questions he may throw at you as honestly as you can. Think about the times you were dumped with no reason. How did you feel? It probably frustrated you wondering why, when things appeared to be going so well, he decided to end it. Be fair and be honest with him.
2. Pick the right time
Some poor choices include at a party or any other social gathering, in the car or doing a mundane yet domestic task together such as grocery shopping. Chances are, he’ll be caught off guard no matter when you break the bad news, but if you do it in the frozen food section, he may have a much stronger reaction that if you do it at a café or in your neighborhood park. There is never going to be a perfect time to break up with someone, but try to have as much control over the time as you can, rather than blurting it out over brunch with friends.
3. Do it in a public place
This minimizes the chances for chaos. If you’re in a restaurant and there are people around, he will be less likely to fly off the handle and cause a scene. If you’re alone and he freaks out, you might be more likely to cave and call the whole thing off. Being in a public place may give you the confidence you need to follow through. Plus, when it’s over you can just walk away, rather than trying to get him to leave you place.
4. Do it in person
Do not be that person who ends a relationship electronically. Breaking up with someone via text, email or even over the phone is totally disrespectful. Even if you can’t wait to be rid of him, at least have the courage to look him in the eye as you dump him.
5. Make sure you are absolutely ready to do it
Not being totally sure of your feelings when you go to end a relationship can mess with your heart and his. If you’re not completely certain that it’s the right thing to do, you’ll confuse him and make him feel like he still has a chance, or worse, you’ll lose him when you still have feelings for him. Be totally ready to cut the ties or risk more heartache than necessary.
6. Take the high road
Chances are if he doesn’t see it coming, he won’t be happy with being dumped. He will curse at you, call you every name in the book, and make you feel like hauling off and punching him in the face. Restrain yourself. You’re leaving anyway, so just take a deep breath, nod politely and then walk away. You won’t gain anything by goading him on or giving him the satisfaction of knowing he upset you.
There’s a girl i was introduced to by a friend 2 years ago, but since the introduction we’ve not come in contact, not until recently we discovered we were in the same university. We got hooked up in less than a week, & our relationship is just 2wks old. Each night we hung out she always want to end it with a kiss & this i wasn’t too comfortable with cos i felt she was rushing the whole thing. There was a day i invited her over to my place, we got kissing & 1 thing led to the other & we was about to have sex, we both got naked but as soon as i brought out a condom from my pocket she flared up & was angry saying that i had it all planned out, that i knew i was gonna have sex with her & she wanted out. I tried to apologised to her but she left a brother hanging. Now she wouldn’t pick or return my calls. I don’t know what to do now and i think i losing her gradually. I still love her.
Try to explain to her that you didn’t have it all planned out, but that you just wanted to be safe, and prepared just in case the situation did arise. Continue to apologize, and let her know that you didnt have it planned like you knew it was going to happen~
its hard 2 break up with someone that doesnt seem like they care about the relationship in the first place. i feel like i want that person to be concerned instead of acting like he’s not, i would like to hear what he has to say and that way i will feel better because i will know if its really the right thing to do instead of leaving a good man.
Yes I totally agree with you.
But then again, breaking up with someone who doesn’t seems to care about the relationship is the right things to do.
However, i guess it’s all part of the mind game. The more unconcerned he seems with the relationship, the more you are not willing to let go.
I’m stuck in this pit myself
This is a very serious matter. And as far as I am concerned, these guides of breaking up are the right things to do. We should think first before acting on it or else regrets will follow. So better have a wise decision making, not only with this kind of issue.
Жесть! Конечно, поразительно видеть то, как в считанные часы совершенно без малейшего повода из пальца высасывается такой “новостной сюжет” и начинает широко гулять по блогам.
Hello,
I am 22 male nigerian, i have a girl friend and we both have been for 2 years now ever since she was 16, Now she said to me that she needs space i should allow are recive calls from other male friends and she will no longer be comming to my house regulaly as she should to all this words she gave reasons for saying them. What do u want me to do now?????
Hello am olumide am 22year i always have a girlfriend everytime i tries to be with them they always broke up i guess maybe am not right one
Help me understand please. I recently found out that my now 16 months old boyfriend has been talking to and texting one of my best friend behind my back on a platonic level. She was the one who told me about it. As strange as i found it i was ok to discuss it whit him and get over with it, but what puzzles me the most is that he always makes sure to tell her not to say a word to me about it.
I wonder if anyone in here has been n this situation and how to cope with it, because i’ve been aviding talking to my boyfriend since i found that out, and it’s been about a week.
its hard to break up with someone. im in that situation now. i love him but things are getting boring. im thinking of letting him go, i know it will hurt him… and it might hurt me more. i wont know until that will actually happen. so now im bored just laying in the couch with him everyday (he’s a homebody). oh well. i’l just hold on maybe. or maybe not. or yeah i will… not :s
i have a guy who always tell lies and never say yhe truth he told me he was travelling and sid he will b coming back at the end of the year but i found out dat he at home and i have no cougrage to go to his house please tell me what do i do
how can i deal wit a lying lip guy
i’m 16 and i am very much in love with my boyfriend and he also loves me madly but the thing is that my parents got to know about it, and they do not like my boyfriend at all…they have different reasons for it, thus i am goona break up with my boyfriend, even though we have a lot of dreams for the future, it’s just that my boyfriend is still at school…but one thing am sure about is that my parents won’t agree, what should i do??? should i forget him?? it’s just toooo hard. i love him.
our relationship is getting boring…
its for me to let it go because i love him so much!!!!! but i am not happy with him anymore…
if you love a person u never let him go…
try to understand everything….
but what if you still love that person but suddenly u are not happy with him???
shall u continue the relationship or just forget him for the rest of your life?????
Im Modest from Nigeria in Kano. I’ve a girlfreind and she always showing that she’s madly in luv, but she usually doesn’t caring the relationship. What should i do? Plsss
“Wayyo Allah! Yaya zan bullo wa wannan yarinya”, is wat always Mudasser Sani Baba saying in his mind about the girl he had relationship wiz. So what can i do pls peopleee
I had this girl introduced to me by a friend,we got close by phone contact,and met weeks after,things went well till i asked her if she ahd any gu in her life,she never admitted having any other,so i followed up with suspiscion and found out,there was a guy in her ,whom she had always tried to get rid of,and this guy disagreed to breakin with her.but after i found out she went mad at me for betrayin her,then she begun searching my past lookin to know i was,and begun askin questions,and question about me from my friends,which she had answers.From time to time she asked me questions,and whenever they didnt comply to what my friends told her,she’d she that i lied to her.and with this continuing,she ended up saying i have lied to her from the beginning,and that,she is going to train her self in a way,so she could stop loving me,then its been two weeks now,then when i ask her if she still loves me she says,i can be her best friend now,cos she has moved from loving me to liking me,i also thought of proving to her what they say is untrue,but coming back to it,i want her to forgive me before i prove to her.if not its going to be hard for us in the future,when there is another situation and am helpless,with no proof…What do i do now???does she love me??/do i need to keep trynna win her back,especially when she’s said she has a awhole lot in her mind,and she wouldnt want to talk about it???and is break up the only way to get some time to yourself???
this is a funny way of breaking up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rukqR4kTO9U
Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I just recently moved out with him 6 hours away from my family and now that he has me all to him self i feel like im trapped i cant make any new friends because he thinks im going to go out and find somebody else…im scared to say anything that will get him upset because he doesnt care if he makes a big scene he will yell at the top of his lungs if he has to if that gets my attention because he knows that i dont like that..he keeps saying if i break up with him i will never find a a good guy….he says they will either cheat on me, abuse me or just get what they want and leave…..im going crazy because i love him but i dont want to end it because when we get alone its great but them he snaps and hes awful….i hate it im only 20 years old im young or am i just getting into this to quick? please help i dont know if im being to selfish or what
This is a girl am inlove with, then she traveled , we have been communicating since she traveled till date and now this is another girl in my area who is really mad inlove with me , and i love her too ,can some one help me to choose
im a martir girl….i met a guy was very simple and humble person…he made me madly inlove with him.one day i found out,he just fooled me that he has a another girl in his life before he meet me..it made me hurt because i love him so much,i cant afford to lose him…he told me he wants to leave his former girlfriend just for me…but it seems too hard for him to made a decision to break with that girl because of the time theyve been together..and he assure me this problem will be finishand .. and everytime they been together,it really hurts me..please help me…should i stay with him and waited him to break up with his former girlfriend?should i stop communicate with him??..
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 9 years. I had been having an emotional affair that he discovered in June and I’ve spent the past 5 moths working thru things. He’s been supportive and understanding beyond belief, but this morning he demanded an answer. Are you staying or going? After seeing a therapist these past few months, I realized that I’ve never been “all in” this relationship and frankly, don’t see that changing. And I finally found the courage to tell him that. Now he is angry and cold. He went from holding me to “Goodbye” in 2 minutes flat. We have a house together and we will need to live together until it can sell as neither of us can afford it alone or afford to move out. I don’t know what to do next.
But then again, breaking up with someone who doesn’t seems to care about the relationship is the right things to do
im in a relatnship for 6yrs……… but d guy has never for once give me joy, happiness, peace. than to make me crying every now and then……. and his frnd control him and his relatnship….. he make life to b soo boring to me…. but is hard to let him go….. pls wat can i do….. it killing me softly and deep inside..
Guys, i need help. My gf broke up with me with no reason. She said she dun love me anymore but I can still feel she love me.. she gets angry when i text or call her.
l am about losing her 4 no good reason.She have been complaining about my smoking habit which ijust stoped 4 recntly.she told me again that she want 2 b alone an dt she is too young…but l think d main reason is that maybe she fel in lov with one of her frend on FACEBOOK who happen 2 b in d same skul.l feel like killing somebody…somebody should help bc i know that young guy cant go scot free!
Don’t beat around the bush. Rather than hinting that the breakup may be temporary or making up an excuse about your job or family, simply explain that the relationship is not working out as you had hoped and that you are sure both will better off going separate ways. You can mention feelings of sadness or disappointment, but don’t stir false hope if there isn’t any on your part. Don’t be evasive. Meet with the soon-to-be-ex-partner and frankly share your concerns along with best wishes for the future.
I learn more & feel glad have chance to read 6 ways to breaking up…so that I can end the relationship on respectfull way, thank you
Im in a 5 years relationship which am not tired of but she is dumpin me which we never dreamt cos she gave so much confidence which i thot if any1 will fumble it will be me. I was so open which i never hid anytin from her cos i wanted 2 be honest, i was scared 2 always say i luv u expect wen intimate & in sum occasions cos of my past experience but she knows i do cos i can do witout her. She is a gud girl, pick my call & im still beggin for d past 3 months.
Wow thanks for the advise.i really needed it; i no longer love him and hes done so much to me and i been tru enough. im done! i meet another man that shows me he cares and is always telling me hoe Gorgeous i am and i needed that. sometimes a women is willying to put up to so much…theres always an end and i got feed up with it.
Im Pesh from Kenya.Im not rily sure about my bfriend.He doesnt cal or even visit.I luv him but not sure of his luv anymore.Its jst a yr down the line.What could be wrong with him and what do i do?
To love someone is a choice that individual make….but whenever u find urself on the wrong track pls run 4 ur dear life….
We’ve been together for 2yrs now. The communication is one sided I think she has someone else.
OKAY THERES THIS ONE GUY I REALLY REALLY LIKE AND HE GOES TO MY SKEWL AND EVERY TIME I SEE HIM IT MAKES MY HEART BEAT SO FAST AND HE DOESNT KNOW THAT AND HIS COUSIN LIVES RIGHT BEHIND MY HOUSE AND HE LIKES ME BUT EVERY TIME THEY GO OUT TO PLAY BBALL IT JUST MAKES ME WANNA CRY AND I REALLY WANT TO GO OUT WITH HIM BUT HE DOESNT KNOW I LIKE HIM !!!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO????
Love is not a do or die afair,…when u find out things are not working out between you and the one u clainm you love then quite and move on….there are better dayz ahead….
Wow. Its kind of surprising to see all of these comments and everyone looking for help.
Here are some general answers:
To Leong: There is nothing you can do about the situation. It seems as though this person wants to move and maybe you should come to terms with that. Creating violence and drama for her will only create more stress in hers and your life. Heres a tip. If you co-operate and show her that you only want whats best for her ( which is you and her seperating) then she might see how much of a caring individual you are but if you continue behaving this way, I guarantee you, She will no longer speak to you again.
__
I was in a relationship as well that was one sided and led me nowhere. Not only did he not call me or visit me, he tried sleeping with my best friend because i became resentful of him for not showing me “love”. All in all, I dumped his ass.
I think everyone that comments on this article needs to realize your self worth.
If someone is not treating you how you should be treated.
If someone is verbally abusing you or physically.
Or even if that special someone is neglecting you - then you know what to do.
And to “Mobb Deep”. I can see how that could upset her but she needs to stop acting over emotional but about what happened and GET OVER IT. If you apologized, numerous times, then there is nothing you can do.
Life doesnt end here. There are many other fish in the sea… Get over it and move on.
hi,she broke up with me after 2 years.we are co-worker and meet every day.its kill me ,what should i do?some times i do not look at her long day,sometime i have to talk because of our work situation.please tell me what we should do?
well same thing hapenned to me i went to ecaudro over the vacation for 2 months i found this really nice guy he was 5 years older than me ; i fell inlove with him ; but he had another girl that he was with for 1 year and 2 months he broke up with her for me ; during our relationship i gave him everything ; body & soul . then i haad to come back to ny and that meant i wasnt gonna see him until next year . i thought everything was gonna go find. and then i found out that he fucked his ex again got her pregnant then he broke up with me . we lasted 5 months . i got over him after 6 months. i never wanna see him again . its life we gotta learn how to build a brigde and get over it .
I am Romeo 23. I just broke up with ma girlfriend from a 20 month relationship.I found out that she wasn’t being honest.
Although we’ve had worse problem than what she did this time and we’ve gotten over them but what really hurt me the most that resulted breaking up with her was that she did not realize her mistake.
I woke up one morning and taught of sending her some morning massages and when i checked ma phone i realize that ma battery was dead so i decided to use ma sister’s phone which i text a love massage to her and she text back (who is this?) I was like wow! how many boyfriends have you got as i said to my self.
I decided to put her to test since it dint occur to her that i was the one who sent the message! we exchanged several massages. I tried to keep her suspend by not revealing my identity.Let me cut this short cause my experience seems to be a long story.
I finally asked her out and she agreed,I told her to let me when know when she’s ready and i will have our driver pick her up and she said i was rushing her for she will fix her own date.I decided to put an end to the unknown messaging thing so i called to ask her is there is anything she thinks i should know and she said no and ask her how about the unknown caller u promised to fix a date with, i don’t know if it was out of heartlessness but i tell u what, she told me she was disappointed in me for she knew it was a set up.
Why dint she tell me that someone unknown caller is messing with her if she does not like it so i will at least know how honest she is. If she was able to fall for an unknown caller how much more some who propose to her in person.
One mistake i also did was that i broke up with her by a text message and it’s 6 days now and she hasn’t said a word.I still love her and i don’t know what to do know.
Shes trying to tease me on facebook by writing on her wall that shes single and who wants to know her new guy!
what do i do?must i just let it be like i broke up with her or what?
[...] 6 ways to end a relationship [...]
Your all losers!
If he feels being rushed, he should take his time.
im inlove with my cousins boyfriend he loves me too..my heart longs to be with him & he 2.
the story is that they met while she was visiting and she told him that she likes him ,since he had a gal friend but long distance he agreed with the relationship!He never loved her he says and what im so sad about is that my cousin use to tell me about him share all that they have been throug but not once has he told me he loves her,i know this sounds sick but i love him dearly.She is dating some body else now and its been sum time now but i know how she was head over hills with him.How can i possible do that to her!!!
We both met when they were together and i found a job and am reting at his home so we started talking,we became friends till he comfessed his love for me,maybe i liked him too but never did i put it in mind coz he was with my cousin..Our feelings grew much closer and we kissed made love countless of times…
Reaily struck for both of us ,what would people say!can we seriously hurt alot of people for a love that we r not so sure will last we r both in long distance relationships with other people ,is it worth us braking up with them to be together is it wort me hurting & braking my cousins trust?..im heart broken but the only solution is that we brake up!!
I strongly DISAGREE with breaking up in a public place. It’s very difficult to have an honest discussion and provide either of you closure with people around.
Instead, do it in t neutral place that will be somewhere neither have the home field advantage and you both can walk away. These are public places like parks and such, but you want the minimum amount of people around and a place to sit and really have a discussion.
Though this was an interesting read. And I learned a lot from it, I did notice that most of this was tailored towards girls breaking up with their boyfriends…
i am really impressed about this tips it really relive me lot….i love my girl so much,but i want guyz to be so much honest to ourself cos i know some time i we do hot our girl too,like i do somefuny thing thing she dont like…and she get hot and cryed…them now she doing it back to me i know she still love me but she have guy outside which i know about and she not honest about that she dont want to tell me that treu, so many time i have told are that i wanna break up this relationship but she will not say anything about it…now she dont even care about our relationship anymore,i dont really no what to do,really i have stop so mant thing that i do wrong just to make are see that i am ready for her for real but yetis in vain pls what can i do..cos i am a graduate working..am she will just gain an admittion dis year to UNILAG…i dont want to wast my time waiting in vain for northing she dont allow me to tourch are phone anylonger long now we have being to gerther we alway c at nite she no longer c my farmily which she does b4…so i dnt know if are love is real or not,but i addly want to leave her cos i even folt with my farmily abut her that to show how much i love her.Pls advise
in my male opinion, for a girl to dump a guy, you should be honest, say it like it is “im a boring biatch, with no hobbies or interests (like all women) and i completely detract from your personal progression in life, we can carry on having sex until you find another girl if you like” surely enough this painful truth will be realised and the guy will come to realise this, become wildly rich and successful without the iron shackle that is a women tied around his ankle holding him back. all in all doing everyone a favour.
hi guys,i am in a dillema,met this guy and i think i have fallen for him.he loves me like nobody’s business but the problem is that i am married.I try to stop the relationship but with no avail.He knows Iam married but keeps on coming to me.We have protected sex but I want to get out of the relationship.Am confused.How politely can I do it without hurting his feelings?