you are here: by Jessica Padykula
Ending a relationship is never easy, even when you’ve truly had enough and you’re ready for freedom. But there are ways to make the deed go as smoothly as possible. If you only remember one thing, let it be this. Break up with others as you would like to be broken up with. Other than that, here are 6 of our best break-up methods.
1. Be honest
Whether he ends up believing you or not, being honest with whomever you’re breaking up with is the best way to go. Tell him why you need to move on and answer any questions he may throw at you as honestly as you can. Think about the times you were dumped with no reason. How did you feel? It probably frustrated you wondering why, when things appeared to be going so well, he decided to end it. Be fair and be honest with him.
2. Pick the right time
Some poor choices include at a party or any other social gathering, in the car or doing a mundane yet domestic task together such as grocery shopping. Chances are, he’ll be caught off guard no matter when you break the bad news, but if you do it in the frozen food section, he may have a much stronger reaction that if you do it at a café or in your neighborhood park. There is never going to be a perfect time to break up with someone, but try to have as much control over the time as you can, rather than blurting it out over brunch with friends.
3. Do it in a public place
This minimizes the chances for chaos. If you’re in a restaurant and there are people around, he will be less likely to fly off the handle and cause a scene. If you’re alone and he freaks out, you might be more likely to cave and call the whole thing off. Being in a public place may give you the confidence you need to follow through. Plus, when it’s over you can just walk away, rather than trying to get him to leave you place.
4. Do it in person
Do not be that person who ends a relationship electronically. Breaking up with someone via text, email or even over the phone is totally disrespectful. Even if you can’t wait to be rid of him, at least have the courage to look him in the eye as you dump him.
5. Make sure you are absolutely ready to do it
Not being totally sure of your feelings when you go to end a relationship can mess with your heart and his. If you’re not completely certain that it’s the right thing to do, you’ll confuse him and make him feel like he still has a chance, or worse, you’ll lose him when you still have feelings for him. Be totally ready to cut the ties or risk more heartache than necessary.
6. Take the high road
Chances are if he doesn’t see it coming, he won’t be happy with being dumped. He will curse at you, call you every name in the book, and make you feel like hauling off and punching him in the face. Restrain yourself. You’re leaving anyway, so just take a deep breath, nod politely and then walk away. You won’t gain anything by goading him on or giving him the satisfaction of knowing he upset you.
There’s a girl i was introduced to by a friend 2 years ago, but since the introduction we’ve not come in contact, not until recently we discovered we were in the same university. We got hooked up in less than a week, & our relationship is just 2wks old. Each night we hung out she always want to end it with a kiss & this i wasn’t too comfortable with cos i felt she was rushing the whole thing. There was a day i invited her over to my place, we got kissing & 1 thing led to the other & we was about to have sex, we both got naked but as soon as i brought out a condom from my pocket she flared up & was angry saying that i had it all planned out, that i knew i was gonna have sex with her & she wanted out. I tried to apologised to her but she left a brother hanging. Now she wouldn’t pick or return my calls. I don’t know what to do now and i think i losing her gradually. I still love her.
Try to explain to her that you didn’t have it all planned out, but that you just wanted to be safe, and prepared just in case the situation did arise. Continue to apologize, and let her know that you didnt have it planned like you knew it was going to happen~
its hard 2 break up with someone that doesnt seem like they care about the relationship in the first place. i feel like i want that person to be concerned instead of acting like he’s not, i would like to hear what he has to say and that way i will feel better because i will know if its really the right thing to do instead of leaving a good man.
Yes I totally agree with you.
But then again, breaking up with someone who doesn’t seems to care about the relationship is the right things to do.
However, i guess it’s all part of the mind game. The more unconcerned he seems with the relationship, the more you are not willing to let go.
I’m stuck in this pit myself
This is a very serious matter. And as far as I am concerned, these guides of breaking up are the right things to do. We should think first before acting on it or else regrets will follow. So better have a wise decision making, not only with this kind of issue.
Жесть! Конечно, поразительно видеть то, как в считанные часы совершенно без малейшего повода из пальца высасывается такой “новостной сюжет” и начинает широко гулять по блогам.
Hello,
I am 22 male nigerian, i have a girl friend and we both have been for 2 years now ever since she was 16, Now she said to me that she needs space i should allow are recive calls from other male friends and she will no longer be comming to my house regulaly as she should to all this words she gave reasons for saying them. What do u want me to do now?????
Hello am olumide am 22year i always have a girlfriend everytime i tries to be with them they always broke up i guess maybe am not right one
Help me understand please. I recently found out that my now 16 months old boyfriend has been talking to and texting one of my best friend behind my back on a platonic level. She was the one who told me about it. As strange as i found it i was ok to discuss it whit him and get over with it, but what puzzles me the most is that he always makes sure to tell her not to say a word to me about it.
I wonder if anyone in here has been n this situation and how to cope with it, because i’ve been aviding talking to my boyfriend since i found that out, and it’s been about a week.
its hard to break up with someone. im in that situation now. i love him but things are getting boring. im thinking of letting him go, i know it will hurt him… and it might hurt me more. i wont know until that will actually happen. so now im bored just laying in the couch with him everyday (he’s a homebody). oh well. i’l just hold on maybe. or maybe not. or yeah i will… not :s
i have a guy who always tell lies and never say yhe truth he told me he was travelling and sid he will b coming back at the end of the year but i found out dat he at home and i have no cougrage to go to his house please tell me what do i do
how can i deal wit a lying lip guy
i’m 16 and i am very much in love with my boyfriend and he also loves me madly but the thing is that my parents got to know about it, and they do not like my boyfriend at all…they have different reasons for it, thus i am goona break up with my boyfriend, even though we have a lot of dreams for the future, it’s just that my boyfriend is still at school…but one thing am sure about is that my parents won’t agree, what should i do??? should i forget him?? it’s just toooo hard. i love him.
our relationship is getting boring…
its for me to let it go because i love him so much!!!!! but i am not happy with him anymore…
if you love a person u never let him go…
try to understand everything….
but what if you still love that person but suddenly u are not happy with him???
shall u continue the relationship or just forget him for the rest of your life?????
Im Modest from Nigeria in Kano. I’ve a girlfreind and she always showing that she’s madly in luv, but she usually doesn’t caring the relationship. What should i do? Plsss
“Wayyo Allah! Yaya zan bullo wa wannan yarinya”, is wat always Mudasser Sani Baba saying in his mind about the girl he had relationship wiz. So what can i do pls peopleee
I had this girl introduced to me by a friend,we got close by phone contact,and met weeks after,things went well till i asked her if she ahd any gu in her life,she never admitted having any other,so i followed up with suspiscion and found out,there was a guy in her ,whom she had always tried to get rid of,and this guy disagreed to breakin with her.but after i found out she went mad at me for betrayin her,then she begun searching my past lookin to know i was,and begun askin questions,and question about me from my friends,which she had answers.From time to time she asked me questions,and whenever they didnt comply to what my friends told her,she’d she that i lied to her.and with this continuing,she ended up saying i have lied to her from the beginning,and that,she is going to train her self in a way,so she could stop loving me,then its been two weeks now,then when i ask her if she still loves me she says,i can be her best friend now,cos she has moved from loving me to liking me,i also thought of proving to her what they say is untrue,but coming back to it,i want her to forgive me before i prove to her.if not its going to be hard for us in the future,when there is another situation and am helpless,with no proof…What do i do now???does she love me??/do i need to keep trynna win her back,especially when she’s said she has a awhole lot in her mind,and she wouldnt want to talk about it???and is break up the only way to get some time to yourself???
this is a funny way of breaking up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rukqR4kTO9U
Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I just recently moved out with him 6 hours away from my family and now that he has me all to him self i feel like im trapped i cant make any new friends because he thinks im going to go out and find somebody else…im scared to say anything that will get him upset because he doesnt care if he makes a big scene he will yell at the top of his lungs if he has to if that gets my attention because he knows that i dont like that..he keeps saying if i break up with him i will never find a a good guy….he says they will either cheat on me, abuse me or just get what they want and leave…..im going crazy because i love him but i dont want to end it because when we get alone its great but them he snaps and hes awful….i hate it im only 20 years old im young or am i just getting into this to quick? please help i dont know if im being to selfish or what
This is a girl am inlove with, then she traveled , we have been communicating since she traveled till date and now this is another girl in my area who is really mad inlove with me , and i love her too ,can some one help me to choose
im a martir girl….i met a guy was very simple and humble person…he made me madly inlove with him.one day i found out,he just fooled me that he has a another girl in his life before he meet me..it made me hurt because i love him so much,i cant afford to lose him…he told me he wants to leave his former girlfriend just for me…but it seems too hard for him to made a decision to break with that girl because of the time theyve been together..and he assure me this problem will be finishand .. and everytime they been together,it really hurts me..please help me…should i stay with him and waited him to break up with his former girlfriend?should i stop communicate with him??..
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 9 years. I had been having an emotional affair that he discovered in June and I’ve spent the past 5 moths working thru things. He’s been supportive and understanding beyond belief, but this morning he demanded an answer. Are you staying or going? After seeing a therapist these past few months, I realized that I’ve never been “all in” this relationship and frankly, don’t see that changing. And I finally found the courage to tell him that. Now he is angry and cold. He went from holding me to “Goodbye” in 2 minutes flat. We have a house together and we will need to live together until it can sell as neither of us can afford it alone or afford to move out. I don’t know what to do next.
But then again, breaking up with someone who doesn’t seems to care about the relationship is the right things to do
im in a relatnship for 6yrs……… but d guy has never for once give me joy, happiness, peace. than to make me crying every now and then……. and his frnd control him and his relatnship….. he make life to b soo boring to me…. but is hard to let him go….. pls wat can i do….. it killing me softly and deep inside..
Guys, i need help. My gf broke up with me with no reason. She said she dun love me anymore but I can still feel she love me.. she gets angry when i text or call her.