Make Sure He Doesn't Stray
There you are sipping a glass of pretty good chardonnay at your husband's obligatory work party, chatting with some of the other wives, feeling happy with your life and your marriage, when you spot a young hottie sashaying over to your husband across the room. You scowl. Your sensors beep "Red alert! Red alert! Hottie on the make!"
"Who's she?" you ask one of the wives. "The new executive assistant," she says, and promptly the other wives chime in, "Oh, there's trouble on stilettos. He'll be looking at her, that's for sure. You had better keep your eye on him, you know what I mean?"
Yeah! You know exactly what she means. You need to keep that man of yours on a very short leash. No late nights at the office, no lunches with co-workers, no – and then it hits you. You can't control where he goes or who he sees at work. You certainly can't control where his eyes rove or what goes on in his distinctly male mind.
And then you remember that study you read on some women's website: Most affairs start at the office. You stare at yourself in the mirror. You're doomed! You can't compete with Miss Thing. You haven't worn stilettos in years, you never did lose that weight after the kids were born, your hair does not bounce and shine – it frizzes and droops. Like other parts.
Well, before you crumple up in a ball and self-pity yourself out of a good marriage, let's take a look at why most affairs start at the office. It's not because the women there are more sexy or glamorous or available (even if they are)! It's because the women at the office actually listen to your husband's laments, concerns and worries with a sympathetic, kind, compassionate ear. They cheer his every accomplishment – no matter how minute – encourage his dreams, smile when he's around and compliment him on his ideas, his energy and whatever else they can. It's something you used to do early on, but now with your own work, the kids, chores, finances, etc., you're just not doing it as much anymore.
So yes, keep an eye on him. Keep a loving, joyful, appreciative eye on him as in: "What else can I see that is wonderful about you and how many more ways can I find in words, touch and deeds to let you know just how wonderful I think you are?"
Because if you're not keeping an eye on how wonderful he is – what a good, sexy, helpful, passionate, hard-working guy he is – some other gal will. That's guaranteed. And she won't even need to be wearing stilettos.